


breathe with me

by ohfaiths



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: 5 Times, Afterlife, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29740440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohfaiths/pseuds/ohfaiths
Summary: Losing someone you love in this life does not mean you wouldn't see them in another one.
Relationships: Faith Seed & John Seed, Faith Seed & Original Female Character(s), John Seed/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	breathe with me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Been a while since I posted something, but I promise I'll update Lorraine's main story soon, but I had this idea of Siren!Lorraine and well... things escalated fast. Based on my edit and playlist on Spotify.  
> Cheers to snapbackbuddies (stacispratt on tumblr) proofread this.  
> Title from "underwater' by hana.

The **first** time he sees her, she is a dust of smoke, something ethereal and almost non-existent.

She stands close to his sister and they discuss something in hushed tones, that even John can't hear, and he's always been good at eavesdropping. John tilts his head, studying the girl from her head to toe; she's barefoot, like Faith, wearing a simple white dress just below her knees and it looks beautiful on her, hugging her curves and making her look like a ghost; there's a soft light-green halo around her - the bliss, John quickly realizes, - and he wonders if Faith actually tricked everyone who’s present at this meeting and they just hallucinate her. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling slightly disoriented, and blinks a couple of times, expecting to wake up from whatever dream he's having. Except he is not and he is very much present at this very moment, with the Father preaching about the Collapse and that they must prepare for the worst.

Faith meets her brother's eyes and beams, waving him a hello. He returns the gesture, delighted to see Faith so happy. He watches her some more, the way she talks to the girl standing beside her yet not showing her face as if she is something forbidden. She might as well be, but Faith wouldn't bring someone here that Joseph wouldn't approve of.

But then, John thinks of how Jacob and he have their men waiting for the outside, snipers for their snipers, wolves and guns to protect their Heralds. John thinks of how Faith keeps her Angels on a shorter leash and how they barely see them outside Faith's region. It would be fair for Faith to have someone she could trust her life to, someone who would be with her in case something happens. John's lips curve in a mocking smirk when he looks at the girl beside his sister; she's a petite little thing, John wonders if Faith feeds her at all; he wonders if Joseph knows about her at all because it seems like it's only John and Faith who actually see her; it feels like if John reached out his hand to touch her, she’d vanish into the air.

John easily loses the track of time after that, feeling hypnotised and charmed by an unseen force. When he blinks, everyone is already gone and he is alone, standing in the church with his arms behind his back, abandoned and confused. He wonders how much time had passed, what did they decide on their plan, and if there's any plan at all. He clears his throat hoping it would help him to clear his head, and as he moves to exit the church, he notices a wreath made of wildflowers with the bliss flowers in them. He scoffs, moving past the little thing but then stops short as if an invisible force makes him actually turn around and pick up the flower crown. John lifts it to his nose to smell the flowers and his lips curve in a serene smile. He makes a mental note to visit his sister and return the wreath to its owner.

When he sees her for the **second** time, she is sitting at the shore of the Henbane River, humming quietly and making a wreath. John looks around, makes sure no one is watching him and approaches the girl slowly as if scared she'd disappear if he dares to breathe.

John notices familiar flowers and a wreath this girl is making, cursing himself for not returning it to Faith when he had a chance. In fact, he left her place twenty minutes ago - she invited him for a tea and John almost expected his sister to ask for help, or money, or something else, and instead she confessed that she simply missed him. John wonders if Faith added bliss syrup or something like that in their tea because for the first time he's been here, he decided to roam around his sister's region and it was just his luck to see the mysterious girl again.

She turns around before John can even say anything and he is, once again, lost for words. His brain shortcircuits when their eyes meet; the green forests of hers that glimmer from the bliss, soft emeralds looking into his oceans. John opens his mouth to say something - anything - and instead, he just stares at her, thinking how he had probably died and is now in heaven.

Heaven, however, is closed to someone like John Seed. He is a monster, a sinner, a character in the horror story told by parents to frighten their children so they would behave. He wonders if Hell is open to him, a place he truly belongs in, or at least John believes he does. He feels like a nuisance, a parasite that’s poisoning Faith's pure region, and he has to run; run before it gets worse, run before he plagues this place and people start dying because of him. Specifically, this very girl he can't take his eyes off would be gone before he blinks and it would be his fault.

John's not sure how much time had passed since he came here, but then the girl smiles gently and he almost feels relaxed. Almost.

"Hello," her voice is quiet and raspy, something he did not expect from such an angelic being, but it fits her well. "Did sister Faith send you? Is something wrong?"

"N- uh - no," John finally manages to stutter the word out. He shakes his head to get rid of the nasty feeling of being hypnotized and the mirage around him dissolves a little. "I was just visiting her, she's fine." John puts his hands behind his back. "Why do you ask?"

"Because it's my job to protect her," the girl stands up from her place on the grass and only now John sees that she's one head smaller than him. She's tiny, but by the way she talks, he assumes she is much stronger than she looks.

Her bravery shocks him, from the way she approaches him confidently and reaches her hand out. He looks down at it, then meets her eyes.

"Lorraine."

"John." He feels like a handshake would be inappropriate, so he takes her hand - as gently as he can - and lifts it to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss against her knuckles.

"I know," Lorraine beams, straightening out her dress. Then she folds her hands in front of her and returns her attention to John. "Sister Faith wanted to introduce us, but unfortunately, it's too busy out here."

John smirks, very much aware of what Lorraine means by saying it's busy. Since the deputies arrived, John barely has time for himself, so when Faith invited him to have a chat, he didn't miss this opportunity. They barely see each other, and who knows when would be the last time they see each other? The world may end today.

"I'm glad my sister has someone so devoted. It is rare to find loyal members of our society these days. Never know who's the wolf in sheep's clothing."

"True friends stab you at the front," Lorraine nods, her serene expression suddenly expresses worry. "No one is going to hurt sister Faith while I am here. You have nothing to worry about, brother John."

Not that John worried, except deep down, he wanted to protect his little sister himself, even if she was an adopted one. He felt protective of Faith since the day she was accepted in their family. While he knew Faith could take care of herself and her region, his brotherly instincts kick in, and he would do anything to make sure his adopted sister is safe and sound.

Now, looking at Lorraine, he thinks how first impressions could be entirely wrong. John tends to jump to conclusions before he actually gives the situation a proper thought, immediately springing into action rather than considering all the outcomes. He was told on multiple occasions that one day, this habit of his could kill him, but what else is he going to do? They are at war, fighting for their family, for their people, for their safety. He knows he can't protect everyone, but a part of him wants to protect this little girl he met a few days ago. He doesn't doubt her strength, but she looks so tiny and frail that John's afraid she'd break like glass.

"Don't hesitate to ask me if you need something, brother John," Lorraine's voice brings him back from his reverie and he blinks, staring at the girl. She smiles sweetly and walks by him, her dress's skirt swishing around her knees. "You know where to find me."

It takes John a few more minutes to recover and when he finally comes back to his senses, Lorraine is long gone. As if she was never here. Except for a single wreath and flowers around it, the only evidence she is actually real, and not a figment of John's imagination.

The **third** time he sees her, she looks worried, standing close to Faith, holding her hand tightly, as if afraid the other girl would disappear. Her glimmering green eyes survey the crowd of people; afraid that there is a mole, a wolf in sheep's clothing that could hurt the Bliss Herald, or worse, kill her.

Lorraine's demeanour makes John worried. If there is something that threatens his family, his little sister, he immediately goes into the protective mode. The big brother role he always dreamed of. All John wants at this moment is to make sure Faith is safe and sound, hidden away from the curious gazes and grabbing hands. Joseph says they must love them, love the sinner, love those who seek help and refuge but John has a bad habit of thinking everyone is an enemy unless they prove otherwise. It gets in his head and he can't think straight.

Their eyes meet and Lorraine straightens her back, staring at John without blinking. For the first time in his life, he feels intimidated by a woman, but also thrilled by the very idea that his sister's Chosen is not as innocent as she looks. There is a fire in her eyes that excites him, make his blood boil in his veins. It's a plague he can't escape, so John takes a deep breath before following Lorraine's gaze, searching the crowd for any potential threat. There are men and women, people of all ages, including children, but there is only one person that stands out of the crowd.

Before John knows, Lorraine is swimming through the crowd, like a ghost, towards the man both Lorraine and John found suspicious. John flinches and earns a stare from his older brother that makes him stop; neither of them can leave until the sermon is done and John curses mentally, meeting Lorraine's gaze and shaking his head subtly. He can see the annoyance on her face and the way she purses her lips, almost hears the gears in her brain working, as if trying to come up with a solution. The sermon will be probably over in ten minutes, and that's a very long time until Lorraine and John can deal with the threat.

He wonders what a petite girl like Lorraine could do to a man; what are her methods? Is as cunning as Faith, luring people in and erasing their existence, as if they never were born? Her innocent look makes it easier to believe that Lorraine is not capable of things like murder, but deep down, John knows that he should not trust the looks. He knows damn well that a good image does not mean the person is innocent. He thinks he and Lorraine have a lot in common and he could, most likely, be the victim of the siren's charm, following her blindly into the deep black waters.

He blinks, coming back to reality, and tries to find Lorraine in the crowd, except she and the other man are gone. His heart skips a beat and his hands itch behind his back, panic rising in his chest. He meets Faith's stare and they share a non-verbal conversation; it seems like Faith notices just now that her Chosen is gone, worry painting her beautiful face as she tries not to show too many emotions, otherwise, brothers and sisters would feel their anxiety. Jacob, however, notices their odd behaviour and changes his position, moving closer to Faith.

I will look out for her. She is under my protection.

The brothers exchange an understanding nod and John casually leaves the church, sharing a friendly smile with some of the faithful. Don't let them know that there's something scary behind the curtains of their perfect play. God forbid they think that their family is up to some dangerous schemes. Their reputation is far more important, and John would be the one responsible for dealing with the stained image of this place.

In the dead of the night, John follows the only source of light in the darkness that surrounds him: a glimmering green path that looks like a river of blood that Lorraine left after her, but John thinks - knows - she is smarter than that. The path leads him to the river he didn't know even existed here, Lorraine standing with his back turned to him, her hair and dress wet, clinging to her body. She looks over her shoulder while John approaches her carefully; she looks both ethereally beautiful and incredibly intimidating.

"What did you do to him?"

"What I had to," she smiles sweetly, turning her body to the baptist.

John chuckles, looking into her eyes, finding himself unable to look away, completely hypnotized by this girl. When he feels particularly brave enough, John takes her cold hands in his and lifts them to his mouth, blowing hot air on them, trying to get her warm.

"Something you would do as well."

They both know that John Seed may be the Baptist, but there is another side of him he doesn't show to the people who don't need to see his true self. It's dark and ugly: blood and gore, fresh scars and bleeding flesh. From what John noticed, Lorraine is not scared of him, not in the slightest; she reads him as an open book and John lets her. The scariest part for him, perhaps, is the realization that he would let himself to fall for someone so fleeting and ethereal and when he leans forward to capture the siren's lips, John thinks that perhaps, this is not the worst thing he ever did.

The **fourth** time he sees her, John wishes he didn't.

The beauty of the Henbane River is painted red and the air is suffocating. John hears his sister's sobs but he is too scared to move, paralyzed once again, but now it's is the fear he feels. He can't - doesn't want to - believe what he sees is actually real. That he is not dreaming, that the dripping blood belongs to the woman he found his sanctuary in, that without her, he - and his sister - are in danger.

Eventually, John makes himself walk, approaching Faith with wobbly legs, falling on his knees, holding his breath.

He takes Lorraine's hand, lifting it to his lips, remembering the last time he did the same when they were kissing lazily in the darkness of his bedroom, alone in the world, thinking about what they would have for breakfast and if John could actually cook, and laugh about it. John clenches his jaw, remembering the sound of laughter, telling himself not to forget it, to hang on to it, because it could help him later.

"They are coming for me," he hears Faith stuttering and looks up to meet her eyes. Lorraine's dead body on her knees, their perfectly white dresses painted the same red John saw when he came here. "They are coming for me, John."

"I"m here," he croaks, then clears his throat to sound more confident, "I will do everything I can to protect you."

"Promise?"

John's heart skips a bit. He's not good at keeping promises, let alone giving them. In the world they live in, considering their current situation, it is incredibly hard to say that everything will be alright.

"John?"

"I promise."

If anything, John always stays true to his word and he means it. He would do anything - torture, kill, sacrifice himself - so his siblings would live.

Later, he thinks of his promise and remembers what he said to Faith. He thinks of how he gave her the time to prepare for the fight by allowing the deputy to get to him first, take their wrath on John first because he's not scared to die. There is a smile on his lips as the life leaves his body. He chuckles when the deputy grabs the key John wore around his neck, and throws him on the ground, leaving him to die.

The **fifth** time John sees Lorraine feels like a dream.

He is surrounded by blindingly white light, feeling weightless and ethereal in this space. A floating body of someone he used to be. John looks down at his clothes, noticing that he wears white linen trousers and a matching shirt, and nothing makes sense until he looks up and notices a small figure approaching him - floating, an angel.

She has the same dress except it's not as tainted as John remembers it; she looks so beautiful and so... light.

"Am I in hell?" Are the first thing John asks, and his heart flutters when he hears the laugh he kept in his head for weeks, dying to hear it again.

"You still don't understand, do you?" Lorraine tilts her head, a serene smile painting her lips. "After everything you did, you still think of yourself as a monster. A martyr. You are so much more than that, John."

"I don't deserve... forgiveness," he chuckles and dips his head. It doesn't take long for him to meet Lorraine's eyes, glimmering emeralds in the whiteness of the space they are in, and when she takes his hands, he automatically brings them up to his lips, kissing her knuckles.

"We both did horrible things, John. But we did them to survive, to help others, to protect the ones we loved the most. Sacrificing ourselves so they could live, even if for a little bit longer. Don't you think we deserve some credit for that? A happy ending?"

John bites his bottom lip, thinking about everything he just heard. He never thought he could be redeemed, or given another chance at proving that he is not a bad person. That he is, in fact, is a good person who had been through hell and somehow, managed to survive and live with the trauma until whatever force decided that his time had come.

That here, in this realm, he has a chance to live a better life, with a person who doesn't see him as a monster. Someone who understands his motives. Someone who trusts him enough to let him hold them, kiss them.

When John meets the siren's eyes again, he smiles - genuinely - and leans forward to capture her lips as another promise he's ready to give, devote this life to her, be a better person, at least in this life.

Let her lure him in because he would follow her anywhere.

Forever and ever.


End file.
